Angelic Guardian was created during a very depressing time in my life where I felt alone and sad. Pages 1-67 were drawn on days when I was feeling very sad and, well, kind of like Rei. But then, after that, things began looking up, and I didn't want to draw it anymore. I had to be depressed to do it.
But, I made myself finish it, and in four days, I was done.
Apologies:
I would like to apologize to everyone for the lack of quality in this manga. I had the idea for it, but I was already doing Charade, and I didn't have much time. So I decided to just get it over with so the idea would stop clogging up my brain. I only meant it to be 50 pages or so. It's now more than twice that. But hey, more for you to read!
I would also like to apologize for the bad content around page 63. I was thinking, "Oh great. I've gone cliché and added the classic yaoi rape scene." But I didn't plan on adding it. No one ever plans on adding that to their own lives, neither Rei nor I planned on adding it to his. It just happened, and it affected the rest of the story.
And finally, I would like to apologize for using the name Rei in both this manga and CHARADE. I hope it didn't confuse anyone. They aren't the same person, they just have the same name. I didn't mean to! I think one personality worked on one manga, and the other worked on the other, and they forgot to check with each other first.
Analysis:
Why do people commit suicide? There are many different reasons, most are compicated. Rei's is that he's been abused, he has no one left, and most of all, he hates himself. So, Kamui's got his body now, and Rei is given instructions: if he wants to fly to Heaven, he must earn his wings by helping Kamui find his love.
So, he's helping Kamui hook up with Nanami, a really bitchy girl who hates him. Fun stuff, especially since Nanami is one of the reasons he hated himself. And Nanami thinks Rei's gay, too!
But Rei isn't gay. He says that he can't even love himself. How can he love someone else?
(This was the central theme of my own depression.)
And then...
And then Kamui's sunny personality starts to take its toll on him. He begins to feel better. And then fall in love with Kamui. But wait! How can he fall in love with Kamui? Kamui is in his body. He's no narcissist! (Did I spell that right?) But he can't help it. And then Kamui loves him back.
What is my point?
People are said to become ghosts when they have some purpose to fulfill on earth, or something they can't let go of. For Rei, it's the fact that he hates himself, and there's no getting into Heaven with that kind of attitude! So when he falls in love with Kamui, he falls in love with himself, and that gets rid of his self-loathing and earns his wings and they fly away to Heaven. The end.
I'm kind of proud of that symbolism. Kamui is the metaphor for Rei's other self, the one he must learn to love.
